Guest Article : Successful Dating Begins With Successful
Flirting: 11 Flirting Tips For Work and Play
Why are some people born natural flirts and others couldn't
charm the backside of a bus if their life depended on it?
The power of flirting goes beyond attracting the opposite
sex. Master the art of flirting and you also become a friend
magnet and can use your skills to influence business relationships.
Flirting is an art requiring confidence without being OTT.
A successful flirt knows how to get the balance just right;
too much and there is a real danger you will be labelled as
"slimy" (if you're a man) and "tarty"
(if you're a woman).
"You've either got it or you haven't!" is often
what you will hear men saying when they boast about their
conquests. Women, on the other hand, are more coy when talking
about a man they have met. So as not to appear full of herself,
she will often say to her friends "Oooh, I don't think
he likes me, what do you think?" If she is a successful
flirt, however, she will be thinking along the same lines
of a man, "Yeah, he was putty in my hands!"
If flirting doesn't come naturally to you, you can learn
to flirt by building your confidence, believing in yourself
and interacting with other people.
Here are some basic flirting tips which can be practised
at work and/or on a social scene.
1. Have Fun!
First and foremost flirting is fun! Whether you are the
flirter or the flirtee it makes both parties smile (on the
inside as well as the outside!). Don't take it seriously;
be playful, be light-hearted, be infectious!
2. Ooze Confidence
The best flirts have a positive outlook on life and are
happy with themselves. To successfully flirt you need to feel
good about yourself before you are able to transmit this "feel
good" factor to the opposite sex. If you display a positive
and optimistic attitude to life you will find yourself connecting
with people who are right for you.
3. Make the first move
Don't wait for someone to approach you. If it's someone
at work you've got your eye on, wait for them to go to the
kitchen and then make a beeline for the coffee machine. The
same applies in a bar, wait for them to go to the bar and
then squeeze in next to them. Start with a simple "Hello"
and take things from there. What have you got to lose?
4. Pay a compliment and receive a smile!
A genuine compliment costs nothing and yet can make someone
feel so special. If someone looks great, tell them! If someone
has achieved something to be proud of, tell them! Once you
start making someone feel good about themselves, they are
more likely to want to spend more time with you! And if someone
pays you a compliment, be proud of the compliment and say
"Thank you"!
5. Eye to Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of our most powerful communicating mechanisms.
Most people don't have a problem making eye contact with someone
they don't find attractive but they become awkward in front
of people they are attracted to. If you tend to look away
at people you like, practice making eye contact with people
on your way to work, a quick glance and then turn away. This
is a good way to build up your confidence. Don't stare, however,
this will make people feel uncomfortable!
6. Pitch your voice
Learn to vary the tone, pitch and speed of your voice. A
voice rich in tones sounds far more interesting than one dull
note!
7. Listen
A good flirt has the ability to get people to open up and
talk about themselves. Pay attention when someone is talking
to you and ask questions to show you are interested. The best
questions are the ones which will lead to someone remembering
a positive experience about themselves.
8. Move your body!
There are many positive body language signs: lingering eye
contact, smiling widely, touching someone, head tilting to
one side, running fingers through hair, undivided attention
but if you really want to let go and flirt openly - dance!
Dancing is a great form of self-expression allowing you to
interact with someone and connect.
9. Smile, Smile, Smile!
Make your smile contagious! The more you smile the more
people will want to know you and be around you!
10. Don't be rude!
Flirting does not involve being sexually explicit! Nor does
it involve being offensive if someone rejects your advances.
If you have been flirting with someone and are not receiving
positive feedback don't get disheartened or take it personally,
move on to the next person! You may want to consider a different
approach if you are getting a lot of rejections.
11. Send an email
Emails are a great way to communicate with someone if you're
too shy to approach them face to face. Whether it's someone
you are interested in at work or you want to try internet
dating, emails and instant messaging allow you to flirt without
blushing or getting tongue-tied.
Be careful not to become intimate online too quickly though;
it's easy to paint a rosy picture of the person behind the
monitor but until you have met them you don't really know
them. My message here is get to know someone online before
arranging a date, but don't fall in love before meeting them!
The reality could burst the bubble!
About the Author
Alison Edwards writes articles for http://www.SnappyDates.com
a UK based dating site for all age groups.
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